Since many people in Second Life have asked me these questions, I am happy to provide my answers to them, conveniently summarised in one easy-to-read page. Without further ado, here are the questions:
Q: How r u? / How u doing? hru?
A: Please type full sentences in proper English. To paraphrase “Weird Al” Yankovic, You’re not 7, and your name is not Prince. The correct question is “How are you?” A question like “How u doing” just begs to be answered with something along the lines of “I don’t know how is u doing, try asking that to its neighbours t and v.” Also, please consider that I am not a native English speaker, and as such I do not understand mobile phone shorthand. Thank you.
Q: Tal girl / beast / kajira / bond
A: I was dreading this question, so let’s answer it by parts.
- First of all, by saying “Tal” at the start you’re assuming that I speak the Gorean language. I do not. To me, the Gorean language is as incomprehensible as, say, Choctaw or ancient Assyrian. Either that or you just pulled some Spanglish and you mean something like “Such a girl.”
- Second, you’re assuming I am a Gorean slave. I’m not. Stop thinking Second Life is all like Gor. It isn’t.
- Third, I have a more generalized aversion to anything Gorean in Second Life, for cogent reasons which I have exposed here. So, for my sake and yours, let’s cut the Gorean act right now. Thank you.
Q: What are you doing here?
A: I am proselytizing for the Holy Roman, Catholic and Apostolic Church. What better place to do that than by going to adult sims, dressed as provocatively as I can? Ask a stupid question… #sarcasm.
Q: Why so short?
A: I am not short. I measure 1.63 meters in Second Life. That is 5 feet, 4 inches in Imperial units. I am not short for a woman. Perhaps you would do well in reviewing your avatar’s height?
Q: Do you like sex? if so, what kind of sex do you like?
A: I like sex. I like to have sex often, with partners of either gender. My partner, Kitten, also likes to have sex, often and with partners of either gender. We don’t let that come between us, because we don’t hide it from each other. As to what kind of sex I prefer, I like the kind where both of us enjoy ourselves and end up exhausted and tangled in a warm post-coital cuddle. That said, if you would rather dominate me, don’t ask me if you can: instead, take charge and lead. I’m a good girl, and will follow your lead without back-leading. In case it isn’t clear, all of the above means that I am, proudly, unrepentantly, a slut.
Q: Do you provide escorting services in Second Life?
A: Where allowed, yes, I provide those services. I have a detailed list here and upon request whilst in world.
Q: Do you voice?
A: The short answer is “no.” The long answer is as follows: When I started Second Life, it was a text-only program. As originally designed, I felt Second Life was not just a wonderful role-playing environment, but also a good way for people with a life-altering disability to have a way to disallow that disability from defining who they were. Then voice came along. Voice was introduced at about the same time as Viewer 2, and I believe that voice is, along with Viewer 2, one of the worse features of Second Life. Privacy issues apart, I believe voice is an invasive feature which in my opinion detracts from an immersive roleplaying experience and creates barriers for people with hearing disabilities. People who use voice, in fact, ignore text chat altogether, without thinking or realizing that among them there might be people who cannot hear what is being said. Those people are therefore excluded from any interaction with anyone voicing. In this day and age, such discrimination is unconscionable. For these reasons, and other, more personal ones, I refuse to use voice in Second Life. It’s disabled, and I won’t enable it or use it for any one’s sake. If you think that that makes a dude out of me… all I can say is, #biteme.
Q: Can you show me RL pics of yourself?
A: The short answer is “no.” The long answer is as follows: I enter Second Life every day to attempt to leave real life behind, for a while. Giving pictures of myself to strangers (sorry, but you are a stranger to me, I do not know you personally and we have never seen face-to-face) is something I simply Do Not Do™.
Q: Are you really a girl in real life? I want you to show me your ID or verify that you’re female.
A: Unless you are a duly identified Linden Labs employee, the answer is “no.”
Q: Why is your chest so small? Change it to one hundred, I want you to be super busty.
A: This is my Second Life. I choose how I want to be, it is my choice, not yours. I am not going to change my appearance because you say so. It is obvious that I am not the right kind of person for you. #sorrynotsorry.
Q: Are you looking for a Dom or for a Domme? I want to own you and call you mine.
A: Yes, I am looking for a Dominant, However, since actively seeking out a Dominant did not yield a good result for me most times, I prefer to broach the subject after I have gotten to know the person, have played a few scenes with him or her and if the chemistry between us is right. If you aim to own me, please consider the following:
- Having been in SL for as long as I have means that my experiences have led me to develop a series of quirks, so please be fully aware of them before committing fully to becoming my permanent Dominant. Once again, these are personal quirks. But for two of them, all are minor issues that proper communication can take care of with ease.
- I am a submissive, not a slave. That means I need a Dominant, not an Owner. Kink-wise, this means that I want to be a participant to your Dominance over me, not a passive recipient to it. I had too much of that when I played in Gor.
- I have a sim of my own; that means I’m not going to move permanently to your place. You can move in to my sim or, alternatively, you can stay at your place, and I will report to you when you’re on and call on me. Let us be clear about something, though: Forcing me to be away from my family is not acceptable and is never going to be okay with me.
- I’m not going to leave my partner for your sake. I’ve been with Kitten for the last 12 years, her being in my life is perhaps the one non-negotiable I have. If you try to come between us, there’s no doubt in my mind as to whom will I be backing. Not-so-subtle hint: it won’t be you.
- My name is Anne. I’m totally okay if you call me names during a scene, even very humiliating names, but if you do that outside of a scene, I have a few “cutting remarks” to share about that. My ass may be sore for a while after them, but my words will leave a mark for far longer.
- I’m not going to start speaking in 3rd person narrative, nor will I ask for permission to leave for RL, go AFK or to go to the loo. If I have to leave, go away from keyboard or go to the ladies’, I will tell you; however, I am not going to feed a power trip by waiting around for you to approve of my comings and goings.
Q: I want to breed you and fill your belly with my babies, are you into that?
A: Sure, go ahead, plough into me, let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel, fill me with baby batter and make me conceive a baby that is your spitting image. One thing though, I don’t use Mama Allpa (or any pregnancy HUD, for that matter). Instead, I use my own, dice-based, DnD-inspired pregnancy risk system. Go ahead, give it a spin!